(Post 3) - Je vais en Paris

     I guess I’m not having any luck convincing you guys that my real life troubles are real but anyway... I’m Sat in an internet café right now opposite Pencester gardens in Dover. I made my mind up last night to head to Paris.  I think if I can get to Paris I will be able to bask in the wonderful loose liberal culture and sensibly evaluate exactly what I’m going to do.

     I stayed up quite late last night reading peoples blogs, and watched a crappy telesync version of the adjustment bureau. Woke up this morning and helped myself to one of those disgusting sachets of coffee from the little paper tubes. I had lit the last cigarette from my packet when someone pounded on the door, I presume it was the day manager realizing I wasn’t a paying customer.  I pushed the chair from the dresser up against the door handle, unlocked the window and climbed out, (leaving through windows is starting to become a habit).

     I waited in a layby on the A259, its quite a busy road so it didn’t take to long for someone to pull over. “Where are you headed” asked Chris, a barman from Newhaven. His eyes looking concerned and I knew he was safe. “Paris” I responded. He laughed and said he could take me as far as Folkestone. I got into the front seat and began to lie about how I was heading to my aunts chalet over in France. As I sat there, being driven towards uncertainty I gazed out of the window. All I could see were people engulfed in monotonous lives of mediocrity, worried about bills, debt and unfaithful spouses. I could see an invisible line where the tide of this once great empire had peaked before slowly drifting back out. This could possibly be the best thing that’s happened to me I thought. I am going to discover who I really am.

     The car pulled up and I got out and, Chris handed me a tenner with a genuine smile and wished me the best. I walked straight into town, into the nearest Tesco express. I’d been around Maya so long I knew what I needed to do. I bought a packet of tobacco, rizlas and four loaves of bread. I found a quiet area of town outside a charity shop and lurked outside, bag in one hand laptop in the other. Almost immediately a pensioner walked out, I bumped into her and dropped my bag; she apologized and bent down to help my pick up the bread that had fallen out. With one swift move I crouched down next to her, slipped my hand in to her open handbag and gently lifted out the purse, putting it down the back of my trousers. Hastily thanking her I left. £95 – I think Wednesday’s pension day. I took the money out and memorized the name and address from the driving license, - Yes of course I’ll send the money back one day.

    I spent £25 on a large rucksack, spent the next hour shoplifting clothes and makeup from Primark and New Look, and bought a medium sized bottle of vodka from a newsagent. I knew I had to get to Dover and scope it out while there was still some daylight. After walking through a maze of residential avenues trying car handles I saw the greatest thing I could see, parked on the pavement was a motorbike with the keys in, an old cruiser type bike with a full tank of petrol. I rode into Dover as the sun was getting low, hair flapping wildly behind me. I didn’t really think things through by stealing the bike as nearly every car started beeping at me for not wearing a helmet. I spotted this Internet café as I drove up to the Port. Security looks intense there, loads of underpaid men in high vis jackets, waiting for their next power trip.

    So now I’m going to ride back west, I saw a Bnb about 10 miles back which should be ideal for tonight, I’m saving pictures of Dover Port and Calais Port from google maps to my desktop right now and will spend tonight working out how I’m going to get on that boat. I hope the bnb has wifi, if not at least I have cigarettes and alcohol. If I don’t get arrested at the port I’ll try and let you guys know what happens tomorrow. x

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

29 comments:

Electric Addict said...

interesting lifestyle, keep us posted :)

Stare Dad said...

wow, thats some busy schedule.

Found on the Internet Today said...

bon chance tomorrow.

doomsday said...

you seem to be very busy. you are a talented writer btw :)

troy said...

one step done and another begun, in I wonder how many miles...

Team Panda said...

It's tough not to be skeptical, most people don't go through stuff like this. I suggest you post some pics, it would make the stories better IMO.

SOMS said...

but why paris..

Necroticism said...

Let us know and bring us pics!

Sean said...

I still don't believe you, but if you find your way to New Jersey, just know that there's somebody here.

Cosmo 'The Ass-man' Kramer said...

That cunt you stole from deserved it, she should learn not to help others, I learned that a long time ago.

WizWayne said...

Oooooooh shit!

tissue rejection said...

Damn, seems like a long day. Hope things are gonna get better.

Kevings said...

Your lifestyle is certainly different, but contrary to many others i dont think it nessecarily a bad way. It a way of exploring and experiencing the world in a totally new track, which most people dont even have the nuts to undertake. Take care of yourself

cool_cicler said...

Nice job jennifer. Will follow.

JapRoulette said...

That's a bit like me haha

frameaj1 said...

Nice post, you are a busy lady, following for more :)

Donal said...

Interesting story developing.....bad karma for stealing a pensioners purse tho :(

Jay.CA said...

wow, that is quite the story...

Wayward Disposition said...

I must admit, I love reading your story because it is very well written. However, it's so hard not be skeptical of it. Stuff like this doesn't happen to people, especially over and over. It's too planned out.

However, if it is true. I feel for you.

Great writing though! I can't stop reading it.

Fishy Corporation said...

Nice story, following for more :)

Navi said...

man your life sounds like a movie, keep posting!

Cory said...

Busy busy, huh?

Tibble said...

Story or not I'm hooked. Will be back tomorrow, good luck on the boat. P AND P AND P AND O, P AND O, P AND O!

Oh yeah - Diesel boy comming right up for you tomorrow, you know the serious buziness :)

Shelby Fox said...

I believe your posts!

Your troubles also make me wish I lived in Europe...sounds so beautiful there.

Percivert said...

Eh, I believe you. I have to admit, I'm jealous. I won't ever get to experience these adventures you're having on daily basis, and while that's not a bad thing, I am jealous that cool adventures don't happen to me. =p

benchmark said...

Stop watching crappy telesync movies. That'll be one small but significant improvement right there.

R3tardedm0nkey said...

Wow, sounds like a pretty hard life. Good luck on the boat! followed

Dazza said...

yea I agree, good luck with it all!

Aaron M. Gipson said...

I have read all three parts of the story so far and am going to suspend my disbelief and presume it to be true. I hope you have a plan for what lies ahead, and know that if you don't post every day all of us are going to assume that something happened to you. So please be sure to update us as anyone who is reading this and believes it, is very much concerned for your safety. Excellent work though, I hope you make it to France...

Post a Comment